Insecurities
I’m pretty sure everyone of us has had some type of insecure thought in our minds at any point in our life.

I grew up when I didn’t even know what I was feeling, were feelings of insecurity. All I knew was that I was feeling was deep bits of shame in me. I didn’t know the term insecurities existed so I don’t blame some of society for not knowing their insecurities too.

Life can just feel like information is slapped in your face wherever you go, standards seem so high due to society norms such as beauty standards, social class standards, gender norms etc and even what we see on social media and everyone in public. We humans tend to want a sense of belonging when we have to coincide with the general population.

I noticed almost everyone is scared to be alone and be with their own inner thoughts, hence why I think way too many people lack self awareness in society.

I think insecurities are quite a big thing we as human individuals have to face introspectively, to be able to get rid of this materialism / ego-centred society as a whole.

Insecure people are still evident today and can either display it through attention seeking / ego / projection and some are even just really good at hiding it. I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of secure men. Many men try to put on a tough guy persona and are afraid to show emotions and they mask insecurities (all thanks to toxic masculinity and gender norms).

You see that male trying to put on a cool guy persona blasting his drill music doing 60mph in a 20mph whilst sitting so low all you can see is his hairline in line with his cars window sill in his BMW 1 Series with a 4D private plate registration? Or that arrogant bank investor who lives in Canary Wharf and cat calls females in his spare time with the lads? Or the mansplaining Redditor who loves to belittle people with his passive aggressive keyboard warrior skills? Or how about that dude who goes to gym for that daily dose of attention to shadow box and slam his weights on every weight machine every few seconds like its musical instruments out here?

Don’t get me wrong, it ain’t just males. Some women scream insecurities and lack self-love. Like the entitled boss bitch who says I don’t need a man but needs a man to open doors for her, or the pick-me female who always makes it about her her her.

Females are a bit more ahead in terms of their level of self-love and empowering each other. To all my fellow males, bruh we have a long way to go…

People out here trying to make statements in everything they do for other people – whether that be going out in public for attention or even presenting themselves in a materialistic way or by moving with ego thinking they’re the main character and putting other people down, or simply putting on a front.

For the people that are very good at hiding their insecurities – we will only know when we start to get to know them. These insecurities are sometimes even deep in their subconscious and will only be revealed when they project onto you (for example, you ask someone about xyz, then they get offended when you just ask a question). All cause they lack self love and self acceptance, and self awareness, or didn’t receive love.

Someone with nothing to prove, is a secure person.

Someone with something to prove to others, tend to be insecure due to the fact they need some sort of validation.

Love heals, and sometimes when we don’t receive love, we just gotta be the one to love ourselves.

Examples of shame / insecurities

– a physical part of us (weight or facial features)
– or a skill that we attain (not feeling good enough)
– or in knowledge we attain (feeling like you just don’t know enough / a lot in any topic in particular)
– or even by feeling like the thing you own isn’t as good as other peoples belongings (like a car, a computer, a house, any material possessions etc.),
– or even your partners past relationships and their past
– maybe you’re hiding your true sexual orientation
– or even by feeling ‘behind’ compared to people around you or feeling like you’re not doing enough in life

These feelings reduce our overall self-worth. Sometimes even the love that we receive from parents, our partner and people around us gassing us up still may not be enough to reassure our worth and insecurities.

Having feelings of shame is normal and valid. I do admit it can be hard to overcome them. One insecurity I had was my height (I’m 5’4) and I was always insecure I wasn’t making enough money in my 20s and I was insecure about my unsymmetrical nose, and I bloat like a bitch when I eat just one meal. It’s hard to admit things you can be ashamed of but I have to make an example that insecurities are normal.

I think this has to be brought to light now so that people can stop trying to prove something / putting on a front to seem ‘perfect’ or feeling ashamed, and get rid of a ego-centred materialism society, and start moving towards a society that’s filled with authentic heart-centred individuals with no judgement, nothing to prove and one step closer towards enlightened individuals.

What doesn’t help insecurities

Society standards: we get these feelings of insecurity due to installed belief systems of society’s expectations and ‘standards’. Well those ‘standards’ are just made up.
Beauty standards for male and females are made up.
How much you should make at a certain age is made up.
How much you should know at a certain point in life is made up.
You have to accept that you may have a belief system in you.

Ego-centred individuals: some things that may not help is when a person you’re compared to (either in your own mind, or publicly) has a big ego and seems to get attention from a lot of people. Don’t let these feelings ever bring you to shame, we all start somewhere in anything we do, and people who move with ego are not what you think they are. They’re living in hell in their mind.

Pretty privilege: it’s sad that things like this standard still exist. Us as humans still have a long way to go to remove that materialistic mindset out of our society.

Social media: we’re constantly bombarded by everyone’s life highlights or how many likes someone has – so we may have a natural state to think wow that person has a lot of likes or knows what they’re doing, I’ll be like that person! Social media is not real. Don’t get too sucked in to peoples social media identity cause you don’t know what goes through their head day to day.

Obviously there’s some insecurities that we can’t change, like physical features and I know some people will resort to plastic surgery / hair implants / lip fillers etc and that’s all good, as long as we’re not out here lying to people about being natural and being transparent to yourself and people around you without shame.

Acceptance

We all have to accept that there will always be someone with something that we don’t have, or someone is progressed further than us (in any type of thing – work, skill, knowledge etc). You get the point.

(this won’t really apply to those who need the mindset for competitions as I can understand you really do need to think you’re the best in order to compete at a high level)

Admitting and being realistic to yourself, is key to accepting whatever it is that you need to accept (for example ‘I know I won’t be as good as someone, but that’s all good cause I’ll try my best or I know I’m not the most attractive person in other peoples eyes and that’s cool, cause I’m happy and confident with the way I look) but that’s not to say you should downplay yourself. It’s being realistic. Being yourself and doing anything for yourself, and yourself only.

You are not the ‘best’ in other people’s eyes as that shouldn’t be your goal, but you can be the ‘best’ in your own eyes (whilst still remaining humble).

Once you start to identify all of your insecurities and choose whether you want to work on them or not, is totally up to you. Anything that can’t be changed then you’ll have to accept that it’s just a part of you, and having this level of acceptance in all of your insecurities, you’ll feel Super Saiyan. Eventually some insecurities won’t become insecurities anymore – they’ll just be a part of you.

If anything the only ‘standard’ that should exist is ‘forever working on myself, for myself’.

I’m not saying we should shout out ‘hey everyone look at my insecurities’. I’m saying that we don’t gotta be ashamed of these feelings – this includes men too.

Showing vulnerability is not weak. It’s strong and courage. We gotta change the narrative.

(one comment on Instagram I saw which was top liked ‘men used to go to war, what happened?’ – like bruh… People like this are the problem with society. War was when we as a society were too stupid fighting over land and we can’t resolve things with logic cause we were dumb (and are still dumb actually out here fighting wars). I bet you these people out here defining what a ‘man’ is by going to war, are the same people out here saying free Gaza and Palestine in their IG bios)

You can still be masculine and be heart-centred.

Knowing your worth

Acceptance in all forms and having this level of awareness in yourself, you will feel unstoppable and is key to knowing your worth.

The phrase ‘knowing your worth’ can carry a bit of an egotistical statement sometimes – so knowing your worth but not in a cocky, arrogant or prideful way, but in a modest and humble way. With nothing to prove and actually knowing who you are in your own inner-world.

Just like nature, though we may have similarities, there’s not one tree or mountain exactly like another. We are all unique in our own special way.

Building ourselves as individuals shouldn’t always be about copying other people from a materialism way like physical features or material possessions, and where they are now on whatever level they are at in your thoughts. It’s about how you can use others to inspire you and maximise what you do have, think about what do you want for yourself and simply being you.

Standards are made up. ‘Perfect’ is made up. Authenticity is key. Comparison is the thief of joy. Life is forever learning.

Go tunnel vision. Do you, for you, and only for you.